


Putting the Dog to Sleep

by AnotherNamelessGhoul



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Pining, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:20:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherNamelessGhoul/pseuds/AnotherNamelessGhoul
Summary: A dumb little drabble about Geralt and his broken feelings, set to 'putting the dog to sleep' by the antlers
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Putting the Dog to Sleep

Prove to me  
I'm not gonna die alone  
Put your arm 'round my collar bone  
And open the door

Jaskier has been following Geralt for what, decades now? He's grown older and slower and Geralt hasn't changed even a bit. He's been pining and pleading and sometimes they even sleep curled up into one another like they're a single unit, but then Geralt says something to the effect of 'no witcher dies in their own bed' and 'you should be settling down somewhere without me' and it's stupid and dramatic, and while Jaskier doesn't want to think about either of them dying, he does wish that they could share a proper, permanant bed, that Geralt could stop risking his life and running and fighting in a world that doesn't give an honest fuck about him or the work he's doing anyways. 

Don't lie to me  
If you're putting the dog to sleep  
That pet you just couldn't keep  
And couldn't afford

Sometimes Jaskier thinks that Geralt is so short with him because he wants him to leave. Not because he doesn't want to travel with him but because he's afraid. Geralt has taken his fair share of injuries, but Jaskier has taken worse, and as a human the chance that each one will be the last is far higher. Geralt looks at him with some sort of wild fear in his eyes sometimes, like he's thinking about the fragility of humans and the likelihood he'll be the one that destroys this one. Geralt would never admit as much, so he takes jabs at Jaskier's singing, about the way he talks too much, the way he walks too slowly. Jaskier rolls over and shows his belly and laughs at the insults because he knows they masque concern and because if he thinks too much about them the pain might do him in.

Well my trust in you  
Is a dog with a broken leg  
Tendons too torn to beg  
For you to let me back in

And then the fight. Geralt yells at him one too many times, and it hits Jaskier. Oh. He'd been thinking through clouded judgement. Geralt hadn't been insulting him for any hidden agenda. He'd just been sick of his presence. Decades. Twenty years, maybe more, that he'd followed this man only to be told that all of Geralt's problems came squarely from him. Something tears inside of Jaskier and he can't possibly get away quickly enough. If he stays then he's just the pathetic bard who doesn't know when to quit. If he leaves he's the pathetic human who spent a quarter of his life up on someone who doesn't even give him a second thought. 

You said I can't prove to you  
You're not gonna die alone  
But trust me to take you home  
To clean up that blood all over your paws

Geralt finds him after he's drunk himself under the table at some seedy bar, too dizzy to stand but not too dizzy to keep crying out all of the tears he's been pressing back for so long. Geralt picks him up and he snaps out a 'fuck you,' a 'I never want to see you again,' a 'get the fuck out of my life'. And to nobody's surprise, Geralt, stubborn as fuck witcher, does not listen in the slightest. He's holding Jaskier like a lifeline and Jaskier doesn't gave the energy to fight him off, and he's too confused to anyways. Why now, when he'd had so long before? 

"I don't know what to do without you." He sounds so tired and broken. Jaskier can guarantee it's the most vulnerable he's ever been in his life. "I don't want to go on alone. I'm not good at these things." It's not 'I love you're but it's probably the closest the man has ever gotten. Jaskier wants to hit him and hug him at the same time. He settles for letting Geralt pull him to his feet and give him something to lean on as the world tips dangerously under a fog of alcohol. Somehow they end up in bed together, but they don't make love. They just cling onto one another, tangled limbs in a too small tavern bed. They wake up too warm, soaked in sweat and stiff from the angle, and Jaskier is brutally hung over and in desperate need of a glass of water, but neither of them move for a couple more hours.

You can't keep running out  
Kicking yourself off the bed  
Kicking yourself in the head  
Because you're kicking me too

"You're an idiot," Jaskier finally tells him, sober enough for a proper scolding, and for once Geralt listens. "You're driving yourself into the grave at the pace you're going."

"I know."

"And driving everyone else off too."

"I know"

"And I love you and I want to have you for the rest of my life."

A pause. "I know." A longer pause. "I would very much like that." A sigh. "I promise I'll try to be better."

And that's all Jaskier can ask for.


End file.
